Assalamu Alaikum,
This issue is a HUGE one.
This is a major issue for so many Muslims, especially when they are young.
I know many young ladies who plan on getting married very young. Some choose to get married young, but there are some who parents arrange marriages for them.
What EXACTLY does marriage mean in Islam to a muslimah?
A marriage in Islam is one of love, respect, committment, understanding, and etc.
I'm only 17, and an elder sister at the mesjid asked me if I was married. I told her "no", and she said she was surprised that someone haven't proposed to me. She thought I was atleast 19 though. I told her I was going to college first. I was interested about the weddings that Muslims had, so there was a conversation about this. She said she would find me a husband, jokily.
Problem 1: Why does it seem that marriage for a muslimah is the main priority for her?
Problem 2: What happen to being educated? Its not like the life expectancy rate is so low that we would have to have kids young and get married.
Problem 3: What happened to me finding my own husband?
Now, to continue on...A Muslimah must know that it is not her job to be a servant at home. She is to not be pushed around and told what to do as if she is stupid, and ignorant. If your husband wants a servant, then insha'Allah, thats a better decision.
Also, your parents cannot force you to marry someone. Yes, they can help you find a husband, or even arrange a marriage for you, but they cannot force you to marry that person. My muslima friend told me how her parents were pretty much forcing her to marry this cousin, but she didn't want to. So, I told her it was her right to choose who she wanted to marry. This is the law of ALLAH.
Also, wake up!!! Your only choice in life is not just marriage. If you want to travel the world, then do so. If you want to go to college, then do so. If you want to be with your family, then be so. Your only option isn't marriage.
I find nothing wrong with marriage, but when a muslimah feel that this is the only option, then I believe its a problem for the Ummah. The mother of a child is their first teacher, first and foremost. She must be educated. I know a few sisters who are home-schooled by their moms, and masha'allah, its a beautiful thing to see.
My post is intended to help guide muslimahs into understanding that life is about choices, and your choice to marry shouldn't be the only option out there for you.
If you're looking for marriage as being a way to be sustained, then thats your right, but you also have the right to be educated.
Know your deen. Know yourself. Know your husband. Be honest with yourself. Be honest with God.
Trust your Lord!
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Alhamdulillah, I'm so glad someone posted something about this. I'm 19 and feel a lot of pressure to get married as soon as possible. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against marriage, but I think that young Muslim women, especially us converts/reverts, have too much emphasis put on us for marriage. Like you said, there are so many other things for us to do in life, and not getting married right away doesn't mean that we never will or that we reject it. Marriage is a very big commitment, and I think it is important to make sure that we are ready for it and (even more importantly) that we are marrying the right man; otherwise we might be miserable for the rest of our lives (like you said, Islamic marriage is supposed to be about love ,happiness, and support).
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